 From category Sports Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is.
"Mmmmm mmmm mmm mm."
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"Mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmm."
"I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you."
The successful man spits something into his hand. "You've got to keep your worms warm." E-mail to a friend Send to a friend through Yahoo MessengerJoke mark: 9 (from 2 marks) - Give a mark for joke
From category Funny Jokes How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?
The door won't close.
How do you know there are three elephants in your fridge?
There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini.
How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge?
By the footprints in the butter. E-mail to a friend Send to a friend through Yahoo MessengerJoke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
From category Medical Jokes An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?". With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The guy was your doctor." E-mail to a friend Send to a friend through Yahoo MessengerJoke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke From category Funny Jokes For those of you who watch what you eat... Here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. E-mail to a friend Send to a friend through Yahoo MessengerJoke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
From category Little Johnny A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
Little Johnny shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty." E-mail to a friend Send to a friend through Yahoo MessengerJoke mark: 9.5 (from 2 marks) - Give a mark for joke From category Female Jokes A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes?"
The bird said, "You know." E-mail to a friend Send to a friend through Yahoo MessengerJoke mark: 5.14 (from 7 marks) - Give a mark for joke
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